The Hollywood, New York, and indie film set have dashed off to Park City, Utah this week for the annual Sundance Film Festival. You, the idealistic indie filmmaker or offbeat actor, can’t wait to smell the mountain air. You’ll catch a glimpse of Paul Rudd at the Deer Valley Resort and canoodle with Tilda Swinton at the premiere of that raunchy new movie about phone-sex lines. Oh, wait… what? You didn’t get an invitation? Well me neither. So in typical Hollywood fashion, here’s how to be a big fake and pretend you’ve been to Sundance when you really stayed at home.
5. Blast LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem” in your Room
LMFAO is headlining the Park City Live set at Sundance. Play their megahit “Party Rock Anthem” in your apartment and start dancing. If you close your eyes really tight you can imagine that somewhere on Main Street in Park City you’re surrounded by sweaty celebrities. Allow yourself to appreciate the subtle nuances and trance like stylings of the party anthem of the year. Besides, 356 million people on Youtube can’t be wrong.
4. Go Sledding Down your Driveway
If you live on the East Coast and got that snow storm this weekend, you can actually do what everyone wishes they could do in Sundance – enjoy the slopes! So what if the Weinsteins and the distributors at Paramount are too busying vying for that new Richard Gere and Susan Saradon movie, you can tell people you whisked down the mountain after you sold your movie. If you happen to fall off your sled in your driveway and sprain your hand, you only get bonus points. Tell everyone that comedian Mike Birbiglia double dog dared you to go down the Black Diamond, and well, you couldn’t resist his boyish charm.
3. Read the Book
There’s at least four movies premiering at Sundance that were adapted from books. If you can’t actually get to the Eccles Theatre to see Goats, why not read the book by Mark Jude Poirier? That way when it’s snatched up by Warner Bros. and gets a lot of buzz, you can downplay the movie. Tell everyone that, while you enjoyed seeing the movie Goats at Sundance, you thought the book was better able to capture that certain je ne sais quoi of a shaaman in Mexico so much better than the movie ever could.
2. Follow Execs & Agents on Twitter
Want to know what movie sellers Cassian Elwes or Tom Quinn are hot for? Or how about where Joseph Gordon-Levitt is brunching? Follow their twitter accounts! This is the best way to ad cred to your fake Sundance story. Use that #sundance twitter hashtag and follow the @sundancefest account and start tweeting. If media distributor Kevin Iwashina replies to your question “What’s your favorite movie this festival?” with “I LOVE The Surrogate!” then why not pretend he told you over BBQ Kurobuta Pork at Caffe Niche?
1. Photoshop yourself with Stars on the Red Carpet
Sure it’s the oldest trick in the book, but c’mon – no one is going to actually believe you went to Sundance without a little proof. I mean, movies are a visual medium after all. So crop out that photo of Andy Samberg and Elizabeth Olsen at the premiere of some avant-garde Iranian film, replace their photos with yours, upload to Facebook, and voilà! All your friends will believe you were at Sundance.
So cheer up indie filmmaker and quirky actor! You might not be fiscally responsible, you might not have made a movie, but just remember, even the actor Mark Webber was once homeless in Philadelphia. So keep smiling and pretending to smell those fir trees on the way to your studio meeting. If Orson Welles once declared, “F is for Fake” he forgot to mention, it’s also for Fun.